Wasn't this exactly one of the experiences she craved? Why couldn't she be more spontaneous and reckless? If she was too scared to swim without a costume how could she ever be expected to tell a man that she wanted to kiss him?
'Maybe they're in love.' 'And this is what love looks like - all wet mouths and you skirt rucked up?' 'Sometimes it is.'
'Fat girl,' she thought, 'stupid fat girl' this being one of the slogans currently playing in her head, along with 'A Third of Your Life Gone' and 'What's the Point of Anything?'
(..) feeling a ripple of anxiety pass across her shoulders at the thought of it: independent adult life. She didn't feel like an adult. She was in no way prepared. It was as if a fire alarm had gone off in the middle of the night and she was standing on the street with her clothes bundled up in her arms.
'So if I'm so awful -' His hand was on her hip now. '- which you are.' '- then why are you sleeping with me?' His hand was on the warm soft flesh of her thigh.
'So I've given this whole "growing old" thing some thought and I've come to the decision that I'd like to stay exactly as I am right now.'
Occasionally, very occasionally, say at four o’clock in the afternoon on a wet sunday, she feels panic-stricken and almost breathless with loneliness. Once or twice she has been known to pick up the phone to check that it isn’t broken. Sometimes she thinks how nice it would be to be woken up by a call in the night: ‘get in a taxi now’ or ‘I need to see you, we need to talk’.
Hvorfor finnes jeg? Det vet jeg ikke. Det er ikke noe jeg skal vite. Jeg er her.
Det er en sannhet det er vanskelig å ta inn over seg, at det finnes så mange fremmede mennesker der ute som kjenner våre nærmeste bedre enn oss.
Det er Afrika, tenkte han. Afrika tar på mange måter lett på livet. Der er det omtrentligheten som sitter i førersetet. Skal vi møtes klokka to? sier de til hverandre, og når man så kommer dinglende med et rødt eple i hånden sånn borti halv fem-tiden, er det ingen som sier noe på det. Jeg er utrolig lite afrikansk, tenkte Jarle videre, idet han kippet skoen av hælen med tåspissen, slik mamma hadde sagt i over tredve år at han ikke skulle gjøre.
Jeg er 35 år! Endelig skal jeg bli født! Flytt dere! Morrissey! Marr! Vent på meg! Dere er grå i håret, dere også! Jeg kommer! Flytt dere! Jeg kommer nå! Kunst! Hevn! Kjærlighet! Vent på meg! Jeg kommer! JARLE KOMMER!
Katrine og du har blitt enige om å gå fra hverandre etter mange år. Slitasje, var det ikke det du sa. Okei. Det er ikke verdens undergang. Det er den verden vi lever i. Du kan godt si at det er en patetisk verden, og jeg skal glatt være enig med deg i det, jeg skal glatt være enig med deg i at dette ikke er den tidsalderen jeg helst vil leve i, men sånn er det. Vi er her. Alle er fanger i sin egen tid. Men dette kan da umulig være verdens undergang? Du blir mest sannsynlig skilt. Okei, det er hardt, men det bør gå bra. Halve befolkningen skiller seg. Det er et større problem, spør du meg, at så store deler av befolkningen fortsatt tror på Gud og stemmer Fremskrittspartiet, som om opplysningstiden aldri hadde inntruffet. Skilsmisse? Du klarer det! Hva er dette her? Du gråter jo hele tiden.
En utrolig bok som gav meg skriveglede og inspirasjon. Måten Setterfield skriver på gir en helt unik leseropplevelse.
People disappear when they die. Their voice, their laughter, the warmth of their breath. Their flesh. Eventually their bones. All living memory of them ceases. This is both dreadful and natural. Yet for some there is an exception to this annihilation. For in the books they write they continue to exist. We can rediscover them. Their humour, their tone of voice, their moods. Through the written word they can anger you or make you happy. They can comfort you. They can perplex you. They can alter you. All this, even though they are dead. Like flies in amber, like corpses frozen in ice, that which according to the laws of nature should pass away is, by the miracle of ink on paper, preserved. It is a kind of magic.