CUSTOMER: I read a book in the sixties. I don't remember the author, or the title. But it was green, and it made me laugh. Do you know which one I mean?

CUSTOMER: Do you have this children's book I've heard about? It's supposed to be very good. It's called ‘Lionel Richie and the Wardrobe.’

CUSTOMER: Have you read every single book in here?
BOOKSELLER: No, I can't say I have.
CUSTOMER: Well you're not very good at your job, are you?

Customer: Do you have any medical textbooks?
Bookseller: Sorry, no. They go out of date so quickly we don't stock them, but I can order one in for you.
Customer: I'm not worried about it being in date.
Bookseller: Does your university not request you have a spesific edition?
Customer: Oh, I'm not a medical student, I just want to learn how to do stitches.
Bookseller: ...Right.
Customer: Do you have a book on sewing, instead?

CUSTOMER: Do you have any old copies of Dickens?
BOOKSELLER: We've got a copy of David Copperfield from 1850 for £100.
CUSTOMER: Why is it so expensive if it's that old?

Man: Hi, I've just self-published my art book. My friends tell me that I'm set to be the new Van Gogh. How many copies of my book would you like to pre-order?
Bookseller: You know, Van Gogh was never appreciated in his lifetime.
Man: ...

Customer: Do you have any books on the dark arts?
Bookseller: ...No.
Customer: Do you have any idea where I could find some?
Bookseller: Why don't you try Knockturn Alley?
Customer: Where's that?
Bookseller: Oh, the centre of London.
Customer: Thanks, I'll keep my eyes peeled for it.