Bokelskere.no

"I want to do something I'm not ashamed of." "Something you are proud of, yes?" "Not even. I just don't want to be ashamed."

4:512 - The dream of sex without pain. I dreamt four nights ago of clock hands descending from the universe like rain, of the moon as a green eye, of mirrors and insects, of a love that never withdrew. It was not the feeling of completeness that I so needed, but the feeling of not being empty. The dream ended when I felt my husband enter me.

"Før trodde jeg at humor var den eneste måten man kunne verdsette hvor vidunderlig og fryktelig verden er, å feire hvor stort livet er. Skjønner du hva jeg mener?" "Ja, naturligvis." "Men nå tror jeg det er motsatt. Humor er en måte å skygge unna fra den vidunderlige og fryktelige verden på."

Hver morgen våknet han med ønsket om å gjøre noe riktig, å være et godt og betydningsfullt menneske, å være, så enkelt som det kunne høres ut og så umulig det faktisk var, lykkelig. I løpet av dagen sank hjertet hans fra brystet og ned i magen. Tidlig på ettermiddagen var han overmannet av en følelse av at ingenting var riktig, at ingenting var riktig for ham, og av et ønske om å være alene. Før kvelden kom, hadde ønsket gått i oppfyllelse: alene i sorgens monumentalitet, alene med sin ørkesløse skyldfølelse, til og med alene i sin ensomhet.

It is as if after surviving so much, there was no longer a reason to survive.

I have made efforts to make you appear as a person with less anxiety, as you have commanded me to do on so many occasions. This is difficult to achieve, because in truth you are a person with very much anxiety. Perhaps you should be a drug user.

I have witnessed him crying three times this week, each very tardy at night when I was returning from roasting at the beach. I will tell you (because you are the only person I have to tell) that I occasionally KGB on him from behind the corner.

As for Grandfather, he is always becoming worse. When I think he is worstest, he becomes worse.

With writing, we have second chances.

Her belly lit up like a firefly's bulb––brighter than a hundred thousands virgins making love for the first time.