Dunbar (Edward St. Aubyn):

"‘We’re off our meds,’ whispered Dunbar.

‘We’re off our meds/ we’re off our heads,’ sang Peter, ‘we’re out of our beds/ and we’re off our meds! Yesterday,’ he continued in a conspiratorial whisper, ‘we were drooling into the lapels of our terry cloth dressing gowns, but now we’re off our meds! We’ve spat them out; we’ve tranquillised the aspidistras! If those fresh lilies you get sent each day …’

‘When I think where they come from,’ growled Dunbar.

‘Steady, old man.’

‘They stole my empire and now they send me stinking lilies.’

‘Oh, you had an empire, did you?’ said Peter, in the voice of an eager hostess, ‘you must meet Gavin in Room 33, he’s here in disguise, but his real name,’ Peter lowered her voice, ‘is Alexander the Great.’

‘I don’t believe a word of it,’ grumbled Dunbar, ‘he’s been dead for years.’

‘Well,’ said Peter, now a Harley Street consultant, ‘if those troubled lilies were suffering from schizophrenic tendencies; tendencies, mind you, a little penchant for the schizoid, not the full-blown thing, their symptoms will have been mitigated with a minimum of fatal side effects.’ He leant forward and whispered, ‘that’s where I put my dead meds: in the vase with the lilies!’"

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