'It's OK,' he tells me. 'If you want to go. Everyone wants you to stay. I want you to stay more than i've ever wanted anything in my life.' His voice craks with emotion. He stops, clears his throat, takes a breath, and continues. 'But that's what I want and I could see why it might not be what you want. So I just wanted to tell you that I understand if you go. It's OK if you have to leave us. It's OK if you want to stop fighting.'