Many people think that lovemaking is all a matter of technique - finding the right spots to rub and tickle. But just as in music, no amount of technique makes up for a lack of soul. The best sex, like the best music, is uplifting because we put our whole heart into it. What a gift it is to be able to touch someone so intimately - the kind of touch that makes a person happy to be alive.

No matter how technically good a lover is, unless the heart is in it, the sex will soon feel empty, like a play by actors who are going through the motions. The spirit of lovemaking has to be there first - the spirit of giving. From that spirit, the technique follows.

Sexual arousal should arise spontaneously, out of our true nature, in the the same way a flower blooms or a fruit falls from a tree when it is ripe. This is zen-arousal without thought of "arousal", desire without "desiring".

Just live life passionately, make love passionately, absorbed in what you are doing. Don't try to do it. Do it.

Day and night I cannot keep you out of my thoughts; In the darkness, on an empty bed, the longing deepens. I dream of us joining hands, exchanging words of love.
- Ikkyu