A couple of years ago, the voluminously lipped sex-minx du jour Scarlett Johansson revealed that she called her breasts 'my girls'. 'I like my body and face,' she said, echoing the thoughts of all but the blind, 'and I love my breasts - I call them "my girls".' Not for the first time in her career*, Johansson had raised a vexed issue. What, exactly, can a grown woman of sense and wit call her tits?

*In Lost in Translation, she presented us with the question, 'Is it ever right not to have sex with Bill Murray during a trip to Japan?', to which anyone with any sense was able to answer, 'No - you must always have sex with Bill Murray when you are on a trip to Japan.'

En liten storm er tilsjøs det som man på landjorden kaller orkan eller tyfon. Det er nok til at en ombordværende landkrabbe bereder seg på å møte døden, og nok til at en sjømann må bruke begge hendene hvis han vil tenne seg en sigarett på dekk.

4:512 - The dream of sex without pain. I dreamt four nights ago of clock hands descending from the universe like rain, of the moon as a green eye, of mirrors and insects, of a love that never withdrew. It was not the feeling of completeness that I so needed, but the feeling of not being empty. The dream ended when I felt my husband enter me.

Lolita, mitt livs lys, mine lemmers flamme, min synd, min sjel. Lo-li-ta: tungespissen tripper tre trinn nedover ganen for til slutt på det tredje å tromme mot fortennene. Lo. Li. Ta.

Og katten selv? Vel, den klarer vi oss uten. Intet behov for katten. Hva skulle vi vel med den? Hvilken katt? Nå tillater filosofien seg å velte seg utelukkende i den rene ånds utskeielser. Verden er en utilgjengelig realitet som det ville være fåfengt å forsøke å kjenne. Hva vet vi om verden? Ingen ting. Ettersom all kunnskap bare er den refleksive bevissthets egen utforsking av seg selv, kan vi be verden dra til helvete.

And when the universe has finished exploding all the stars will slow down, like a ball that has been thrown into the air, and they will come to a halt and they will all begin to fall towards the centre of the universe again. And then there will be nothing to stop us seeing all the stars in the world because they will all be moving towards us, gradually faster and faster, and we will know that the world is going to end soon because when we look up into the sky at night there will be no darkness, just the blazing light of billions and billions of stars, all falling.

Unwisely, Santa offered a teddy bear to James, unaware that he had been mauled by a grizzly earlier that year.