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For the first time since she re-entered my life, I feel properly sorry for Gaby, beautiful, gorgeous Gaby, pretendy Gaby, who has made herself a captive of her looks, who can never stop, who is never going to say, 'Sod it, I'm nearly fifty, I think I'll skip the daily punishment and the starvation regime and just do what I like. And if my arms sag a bit, then so what? I've had a good innings and it isn't the end of the world.' Instead here she is, snaffling down the Class As and trying to keep up with people she could realistically have given birth to. Kate would say it's undignified, and at this very moment I'm inclined to agree.

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