Just before the Miracle, when I was in the ICU and it looket like I was going to die and Mom was telling me it was okay to let go, and I was trying to let go but my lungs kept searching for air, Mom sobbed something into dad's chest that I wish i hadn't heard, and that I hope she never finds out that I did hear. She shaid, "I won't be a mom anymore." It gutted me pretty badly.
I couldn't stop thinking about that during the whole Cancer Team Meeting. I couldn't get it out of my head, how she sounded when she said that, like she would never be okay again, which probably she wouldn't.
