I wept alone, feeling guilty at how impatient I had been with my own children. I composed a lengthy email apologizing for omissions years ago, but didn´t send it. Otherwise, I saw that most of my kids´childhood was a blank. I had either been somewhere else, or wanted to be, doing something "important" or "intellectually demanding". Or I wanted the children to be more like adults - less passionate and infuriating, in other words.