I look deep into Ms. Tia's eyes, at the spot of something gold in the brown of her eyesballs, and my heart sort of melt. I know she is saying all this from the good of her soul, but it is not so easy when you are born into a life of no money and plenty suffering, a life you didn't choose for yourself. Sometimes I wish I can just believe for a good life and it will magic and happen for me, just like that. But maybe, to believe it in my mind is the start, so I nod my head, drag it real slow up and down as I am saying: “Tomorrow will be better than today. I am a somebody of value.”

Thank you, I say with no voice. Thank you, my brother. “Kayus!" Papa shout. “Come on!” Kayus nod his head slow, our last bye-bye. Bye-bye, Kayus, my eyes say to him as he is turning hisself around and running outside. Bye-bye, my sweet Kayus. I remain standing there for a long, long time, with my hand on my chest, with the tears standing in my eyes.

I didn't tell her because I have keep it inside one box in my mind, lock the box, and throw the key inside river of my soul. Maybe one day, I will swim inside the river, find the key.