Why I Find Green Plaid So Annoying, And What I Intend to Do about It.

For one thing plaid's hideous, a pattern cooked up By dimwit designers who must have been mad

It's also perfidious( a word I looked up- it means lots of different things, all of them bad)

Why, it's nothing but lines! Lines and more lines! Not one single curve! Not one polka dot!

What monstrous minds could have called these designs? They ought to be caught and tied up on the spot!

But worse, even worse, is the fact that it's green, The color you turn when you've eaten a bug,

And all of the gross and nasty things I've ever seen, Like pond scum and slime molds or that horrible slug,

All covered with fungus out in the backyard That I saw Tuesday night right before I got sick.

No matter how hard I have tried( I've tried hard ) I've never seen green things without thinking, "Ick!"

So what can I do? There isn't much for it If I'm to get rid of this hideous sight:

If green plaid I hate(and I do abhor it) Then action is called for! A battle! A fight!

I must free the man who has been held Behind prison fences(that crisscrossing plaid!)

Long covered by so much grass green it's a veld! I must free this man who will soon be my dad!

(For if he's my dad, with him I'll be seen! So away with this plaid, and good day to this green!)