Human beings are so complex, any theory fits. By fitting, the theory excludes the complexity, so you lose what's "human." ... The "perfect-fits" fit the worst.

What we need in the world isn't an analysis of ourselves, but to live with a lot of examples of good relationships.

What moves therapy along is what moves good friends along: you like each other, feel understood by each other, know each other better. You can do more things because you feel your friend with you, and you want to see each other more. That warm feeling you carry, even when you're apart.

The past is self. The past is an excuse. The past is why I can read you like a book.

Was my reliance on theory an act of cynicism or idealism?

With disgust I saw how I had been intent on playing a boy's game of "Follow the Leader", and all the while the people asking me for help were dropping alongside. I was walking along behind the alleged authorities, and all the while chanting under my breath the great American mantra, "not enough, not enough, I am not enough."

Live what you have. And remember: never go to a doctor you see on TV.

That's their power, to get us to doubt. But don't confuse self-doubt with radical questioning. We've each had a hit of vitality this year - each of us - and no institution can stand too much vitality.